The Office Zombies Manifesto

An Office Zombies guide to wonderful work…

1.

“Get up, get ready, get to work. Computer on, get coffee and wait for boot up. Sit down and wait some more. Your day is about to begin – and that was the best bit.

2.

“Time starts to slow & you realise it is only 10.30. You have to sit through much more of this tedium before lunch.”

3.

“Slave to the Wage: I’ve got so much work on but can’t be bothered to tackle any of it.”

4.

“Adding clip-art & pie charts are always good presentation fillers.

5.

“Snack Machines: You want it, but you don’t need that overpriced, out of date crap.”

6.

“When you make a cup of tea, you still get paid.

7.

“A guide to company Hierarchy.”

8.

“Get others to do the jobs you don’t want to do.”

9.

“Get others to do the jobs you don’t want to do.”

pc

10.

“If a computer fails, turn it off, wait 2 minutes, then turn it on again. If the computer still does not work repeat the process…for the rest of the day as you will see no one in I.T. If I.T. do come down, your computer will mysteriously work fine when they are there.

pen grabbing zombie

“So, take hold of your pen (company property) and join the ranks of the Office Zombies.”